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If the Shoe Fits … and Meets 20 Other Qualifications

May 29, 2010

So, Mr. Panther and I just spent the last few hours watching wedding shows on TLC. We didn’t mean to—I’m not really a reality show fan in general, especially the voyeuristic and generally icky stuff they tend to show on TLC now. I was a huge fan back in the early days of Trading Spaces, but even that show, which should have been restored to its former glory when Paige Davis returned, is just no good anymore. And of course, Mr. Panther wouldn’t watch wedding shows by choice. It just … happened.

Anyway, we were watching this kind of disgusting show called Four Weddings, in which four brides attend each others’ weddings and basically talk shit the whole time because they’re competing for a dream honeymoon. And then we were watching Say Yes to the Dress, which is kind of awesome, especially since one of the episodes tonight featured Monique Lhuillier’s Sunday Rose, which is my favorite dress on the planet after mine. And all this talk of dresses and accessories temporarily took me off my stationery kick, and I started looking at shoes.

I’m kind of starting to regret limiting myself to 3.5″ heels (my dress is being made with my height plus 3.5″ added). I know, I KNOW—wearing high heels on your wedding day is a bad idea, because you have to be standing and walking around the whole time to greet people, and you want to be able to dance, and being comfortable is important … But every pair that I’ve fallen in love with has been at least 4″ or higher. The lower heels that you see are your sensible slingback pumps and strappy sandals. Unfortunately, I hate to wear any shoe that could be considered sensible. I own not one, but two pairs of thigh-high boots, both of which I wear to work. When everyone else is in sneakers, I’m in 5″ shooties. When I’m forced to set my boots aside and wear summer shoes, I gravitate toward giant, chunky things—always with a platform. I don’t do heels without a platform. Period.

And I want color! I mean, really, people, this is so difficult. You try finding a stylish, edgy, colorful evening shoe with a heel under 4″. I’m starting to think they don’t exist.

Here’s a few possibilities, sort of:


Jimmy Choo Glitter Sandal: As Rachel Zoe would say, I DIE. I love these. They’re 4″ tall and $600, but maybe they could still work? Maybe? Does Jimmy Choo ever go on sale? Is it really that bad if my dress is too short … ?


Kate Spade Gracious 2: Dyeable, so they could be any color I wanted. I’d probably go with turquoise, I think. 3 1/4″ heel. PLATFORM, and an ankle strap is always a plus for comfort/stability. $325.


Martinez Valero Cimmy: Come in purple and royal blue. 4″ heel, but it looks like a short 4″ heel to me. No platform. I hate the rhinestone buckle. $139 (psssst—they’ve gone on sale since I wrote this post and are now $69). I really like embellished T-straps—that’s the only reason these are on the list.


Martinez Valero Corrine: They also come in dark purple satin. I don’t know. The lack of a platform doesn’t thrill me, nor does the rhinestone buckle. But as I said, I do love an embellished T-strap, and these remind me of the Badgley Mischka Randee, which I am madly in love with but cannot wear, due to the 5″ heel:


(Source)

Sigh, I love you, Randee.

Some other shoes I would strap on if heel height (and cost) wasn’t an issue:

I guess I’ll just keep looking, and keep hoping that they come out with something perfect. And I’ll repeat my mantra: I still have plenty of time, I still have plenty of time, I still have plenty of time … I don’t want to be around myself when I start running out time, man.

Are you gals throwing caution to the wind and wearing high heels, or are you choosing comfort? Show me your shoes!

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